
I am no fool, Nic Cage. I know you’re doing this on purpose. Season of the Witch, really ?!?!
You may have forgotten by now, but Nic Cage was once an Academy Award winner for Leaving Las Vegas. I’m serious. Did you see Moonstruck ??? Don’t let this turkey fool you. Nepotism aside, Nic can act. He’s just chosen to abstain from the craft for about a decade and a half. That’s a rip off, dude. Your job is to act. Don’t rob us, Nic.
I know, I know. Nic has had some tax problems, leading many to surmise that he’s been gobbling up any old studio role, hand-over-fist, simply to bail some financial water. Suspect video game script? Thirteen different screenplay writers? Count Nic in.
But I’m telling you, Nic’s doing this on purpose. Nic’s on a mission. He’s destined and determined to be the worst reviewed actor in the history of the human race. Rumor has it he’s only two-thousand sour reviews short of immortality. That’s right. We’re talking about Ryan Reynold’s dad, Burt. Ol’ Burt was in the 1970′s, what Tom Cruise was in the 1980′s. The only difference being, BR went around at the height of his success choosing roles with the sensitivity and selectivity of an asteroid incinerating dinosaurs.
If you’re morbidly curious, or just in the mood for an outstanding laugh, read the Rotten Tomatoes’ reviews of Season of the Witch. Seriously, there’s not one single tomato. It’s all green splat marks. Do you realize how hard that is to do ??? Nutcracker 3D at least got one or two tomatoes from a few inebriated mid-western reviewers.