Okay, young people. I’m sorry, but I have to say this to you. There’s an total dearth of musical talent in your generation right now.

I went into Subway to help support Jared, and while I was waiting for my flat-bread turkey avocado, I happen to catch a song on the radio. Immediately, I recognized it as the opening harmonics from an early 90′s Mariah Carey song.

But was it? Nay, Nay.

Just as quick as an electronic drop button can be flicked, on came the now all too familiar, “Uh … Yeah …”

That’s right. It’s an homage song. They’re just borrowing Mariah Carey’s song, you know, to kinda help jump start their own song. Whatever. It’s sort of like saying, “If I were alive and could sing like Mariah Carey in the 1990′s, this is what I would do with this song. Cool, huh.”

Yeah, well, you weren’t alive, and you can’t sing like her.

This is tantamount to the recent steroids era in Baseball. All those ridiculous feats don’t count. They’re not real.

“Yeah, well, Mark Mcgwire would have hit those home runs anyway.” Yup. He would have hit about thirty-five of ‘em in 1998 – not 70.

This is like me taking the entire film of Star Wars, in its entirety, credits and all, and digitally dropping myself into frame as Luke Skywalker’s half brother, Bo Skywalker. I don’t add anything new, I don’t improve anything, I’m just along for the ride.

Fraudulent.

And, no. Gimmicky electronic voice boxes don’t count either.

I do give Lady Gaga a pass on this rant, though, for “Poker Face,” which would have held its own just fine in the 1980′s, and because my friend, Tammy Nguyen, sold her a cupcake and got tipped a quarter by her royal Gaga-ness last month.